I have come to realize that times Im changing starting NOW.
From today on.. trust is non existant.

Im letting all of my past go.
No one is special anymore, with the exception of maybe three or four.

Im starting over.

New friends, new trust, new life.

I will not do this again.

So say goodbye to what you know.

Because I may look the same, and act the same..
I wont be.
Everything will be different.
and I cant wait!




also, possible new tattoo this summer..


hells yeah!

 Fuck off.























Anyone cares to ask. text me.



Im done.

Victorian times.
At this point, because first off, I love all the history and everything...
second, women had no choices to make, and that was simple.
There was no free thought, no drama, it was do what you are told or die.

Right now that doesnt seem so bad.



I'll have a real answer.

Random Truthbox comment boys make me feel better.

So, even though I dont know who you are other than your name is Mark... Thank you.
I needed that.



and if you read this.. leave me a comment.
I would love to talk to you.

= )

Yes.

More than one person.
More than one time.

Some people say that what doesnt Kill them, makes them stronger.

What about the people who want whatever it is to just kill them?

Im tired of fighting this battle that always leaves me bruised and broken.

It never gets any better and saying "Im sorry" is just like covering something with dirt and saying its not really there.

Forgiveness IS possible, but I will NEVER forget.

Any of it.

Remember that next time you walk all over me.

Not too long ago I was re-reading my old LJ and I realized I seem and or feel more unintelligent now then I was then.
Not just me, actually, the whole damn world.
Everything is so, screwed up.
Gas is so high, drama is ruining lives more than usual, and everyone is becoming so bitter.
I want everyone to just get along but then I would be a hypocrite.
I dont know who to trust anymore.
I dont know who Im friends with, who I dislike, who I like, its all a huge mess.
I dont even know if Im going to pass chemistry and Algebra II.
I have all of these things I want to say but dont know how to write them out.
I want to scream my lungs out, until I cant speak, breathe, or even stand anymore.
I want to disappear, but I want to be noticed for something.
I want to yell obscenities at everyone until they tear up, then say Im sorry to those who deserve it and walk all over the rest.
[This is turning into a rather selfish post, Im sorry.]
Just once, I would like to be happy with one other person.
Without drama, and pain, and the like.
Im sick of people complaining about Global Warming but do nothing about it.
Same with the war, hunger, poverty, AIDS, HIV, all of it.
We get ONE planet and we're doing an AWESOME job of KILLING it!
Why not recycle, use less energy, car pool, conserve food, eat less, DONATE, volunteer.
Instead of fighting, read a history book.
The middle east hates us due to a long ago broken promise on our and Great Britians part...
it has little to do with "They just dont like us".
Instead of talking behind your "friends" back, just come out and say it, then be DONE with it.
No one likes a two-faced friend.

Just.. everyone chill out.

Now that I have more than enough time to say what I feel I need to I shall.
I have gotten tired of everything so fast.
All these guys that like me for my "pretty face" or whatever that come and make me feel like they MIGHT care then just go after the first piece of ass they see kills me.
I liked Ronnie, but when I heard he was doing what Pecha did, I proceeded to do what I should have done then, I put up that wall I remember all too well and now its there.
I cant take being used again, I just cant.
but thats my life.
Rob told Brianna he cant be my friend because I wont date him, but I finally broke him and were frrends again, which will make partying so much eaiser.
True story.
but anyway..

Im tired of peoples bullshit, and blaming it on me,
or them having misconeptions of me.
THATS why I care what people that I dont even know think about me..
Im sorry Im naive and want to trust everyone.
I hate having to hate everyone or think that they are talking about me everytime I leave the room, its not an easy existance.

I have this issue with not knowing.
I like to know what everyone things, how they feel, whats going on.
I want to be there when they need someone.
I want them to know that Im here, even if Im the last person you want to talk to, Im here.
Always will be.

Im letting myself fall into the hole I was then, but Im trying to put myself past it and realize its not going to happen, Ill be fine, was last time.
At least were talking this time.

People talk a lot of shit about everyone, there are so many secrets and it makes life really difficult for everyone involved. Im tired of secrets.. really badly.
What happend to the honesty?
Trust?
Love?
haha I make myself laugh.

[This post is nothing like I wanted it to be, Now its just a bunch of selfish complaining.]

whatever, one day Ill have motivetion to not be selfish.

-someones at the door, the dogs are in a frenzy.

In other words, how is everyone here?
I want to know.
Lets start a conversation.

go, now, go!

My phones on and not dead.
Use it<3